Recently I met an old friend who tried to ‘tension’ me with the timeline of her life and those of some other people that I know, intentionally. The former me would have progressed toward becoming influenced or begin getting stressed over exceeding her and the others or feeling unreliable, yet I basically grinned and drenched myself in her winning without a tinge of comparison and rivalry. It made me so cheerful to understand that I had relinquished that weight. Sometimes, the dread of not doing what’s needed like others comes up again in my heart yet I battle earnestly to overcome it since like an infection, it eats away my focus, peace, and happiness and infects my general wellbeing.

This may sound naive, particularly in a general public like our own, yet I am discovering harmony in being in my path, winning without anyone else terms and carrying others along, beyond self.
I want to believe that I am an exceptionally driven individual, however, I am additionally endeavoring to be that individual who is worried about being better not in correlation with others but rather simply giving the plain best I can give in any circumstance I find myself. I would prefer not to be superior to my peers. I would prefer even not to be in rivalry with my peers. I genuinely don’t comprehend this ‘I beta pass my neighbor’ desire, particularly in a country like mine where our own magnification is at the mercy of a highly unfair, shaky and dead system. 
There is such a great amount of weight around us to measure up to inconspicuous evaluations and gauges and some of the time we can get suffocated in it, I included. This world can be horrendous. It would be ideal if you battle to not fall prey to it. It will be an everyday fight. In the event that you can, seek to the fine and astonishing things of life, be propelled by others also yet don’t lose your tranquility and rest just to have the right stuff. Try not to end up harsh and angry of yourself as well as other people in light of the fact that your life doesn’t appear to pass by their own pace. Your pace is your pace. Remain in your path. If you think you are underperforming, move yourself to improve the situation than your last yield. This is the genuine development. You can live in contentment even while expanding your territory.
You will miss out on the nutritious food on your plate because your eyes are fixed on that of your neighbor because they appear colorful and varied not knowing that it is bleached with chemicals. The pressure outside can only drown us if we let it. The pressure is from within. [You are the one to be conquered and not the mountain.  Move accordingly at your pace in your lane.
Feel free to share with me how you deal with peer pressure in the comment section


  • Lustre
    December 6, 2018 at 11:37 pm

    Uhm… Peer pressure has both its good and bad side, but what we have rampant today is the prevalence of the negative part of it.
    Like you stated, we do not have to succumb to the beckoning of our peers irregardless of whatever they say or do. A resolute and determined mind for growth and positivity settles the pressure.
    I remember when I was in part 1, I got entangled to a babe like that based on the fact that folks around me be like,"she like you gaaan, maa dullu e" meaning, "the girl likes you so much, don't ignore her and cling onto her."
    Of a truth, I did "fell" with her, the bf and gf thing set in like that.

    After a little while, a month or so, man was not comfortable any longer, and I became bothered within me, how do I cut it off? Confusion set in.
    I don't want to "disappoint" my peers, and the babe's roomies were going to be on my neck.
    I can always deal with her roommates but my immediate pals, they were already telling me subtly, "guy, no go think am" "you go fall my hand if you do am".

    How do I go about it bai ntori olohun?😟😟😟😟

    It took me some time to put away the "fear of the peer pressure".

    After several hints given towards the babe that I'm no longer interested o, I summoned "man courage" and told her.

    My friends weren't aware until after I had sealed the deal of "It's over" with her.
    They were going to abuse me, insult me, mock and jest but as much as I was feeling bad about it, I was resolute still not to go back and renounce my words.

    In the real sense of it, I did it for dignity and respect for the Lady.

    To link what I said to the peer pressure matter is this, that, peer pressure has heavy influence on us if we truly let it in. It will, however, be of little or no pressure on us when we "harden" our minds especially towards growth and right things.

    Till tomorrow, there's peer pressure but if it's not for good course, I will not succumb.

    Thanks, Vickie.🙏🙏🙏

    PS: the story brings back some kind of feelings tho.☺☺☺

  • Unknown
    December 7, 2018 at 7:58 am

    It's not easy dealing with peer pressure.. I'm still learning how to just do me and ignore whatever my friends think or say, to not forget myself and go with the crowd.. It's not easy but I'm getting better, I'll get there eventually.. Beautiful post Vicki🙌

  • Victoria Oyedepo
    December 7, 2018 at 8:45 am

    Wow…overcoming peer pressure is hard but we can if we listen to our inner self. Thanks for your story , it's an eye opening one.

  • Victoria Oyedepo
    December 7, 2018 at 8:48 am

    I agree with you dear, it's not so easy.The pressure outside can only drown us if we let it. The pressure is from within. I do hope you find the courage to move accordingly at your pace in your lane.

    Thanks for dropping your comments dear😙

  • Unknown
    December 8, 2018 at 12:21 am

    Solitude. I cherish my solitude a lot. When I observe there are too many voices, I find my closet. I create and spend solid time listening to my inner voice.

    Thanks for addressing this topic Victoria. It is so so important, moreso in this age of ours.

  • Victoria Oyedepo
    December 8, 2018 at 9:20 am

    Hmmm solitude, I like that. I'll try it out too.

    You're welcome Temitope


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